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Getting hitched: the best way to enjoy the benefits of fatherhood.
Happy Father’s Day! Today I offer to men, especially aspiring fathers, a brief reflection on the benefits of fatherhood and why marriage is perhaps the best way to enjoy those benefits. Why pursue...
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Now available! Getting Hitched: Rediscovering the Basic Truths of Mutual...
DRUM ROLL. It’s here. So I’ve been pontificating here on the the meaning and benefits of marriage. But you might ask, how should I get started in this marriage business? The main problem for many is...
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Getting Hitched excerpt: Dear Nice Guy: The Friend Zone is real and really...
HERE is an excerpt from Getting Hitched: Rediscovering the Basic Truths of Mutual Attraction. The Friend Zone is real—and it’s really unfriendly. There is a remarkable innocence in all this that men...
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Beautiful Friday: Almost Everything You Need to Know About Marriage You Could...
Today on Beautiful Friday, it’s one of the most famous songs, now thought of as a children’s song in the English language: Daisy Bell (or a Bicycle Built for Two). Below the fold is an excerpt from my...
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Why are foreign accents so sexy?
One of the most interesting and widespread facts of mutual attraction is the love of foreign accents. One sees this affection in both men and women, and in many cultures. Believe it or not, my...
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Review of Getting Hitched
Crisis Magazine has just published a very flattering review of Getting Hitched. An excerpt: Nothing Upham tells us is at all new. Indeed, that is the entire premise of the book: these truths are old...
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Is marriage “strange and difficult”? Not really.
A few days ago, in the New York Times, Ada Calhoun presented a sober defense of marital fidelity and durability, writing that if you remember the good as well as the bad, and just hold on, your...
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Teen sex rates decline: what if it’s because the sexes don’t like each other...
Over the last quarter century, American teen pregnancy rates have declined dramatically. Why has this happened? Well, advocates of both contraceptive and abstinence education, it seems, can...
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The Husband, Part III: How can I get one?
So in the two prior posts, we’ve addressed: two questions: (1) What’s a husband? and (2) What’s he good for? Today I wish to sketch the possible ways to get one of these husbands–assuming that, after...
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Getting Hitched: Back to School Sale
From now thru Labor Day: Getting Hitched is on sale–just 2 bucks on Kindle. While reading this recent Vanity Fair article on the abysmal hook-up culture, I kept on thinking: these guys and girls need...
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“Make-up:” why it’s good for the marriage-minded, both male and female
After a half-century of sex-egalitarian passions, among the stubborn, gross disparities between men and women lies in the area of personal appearance. Women spend much, much more time and money than...
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The “Basic” American Girl: A Defense
So fall is coming soon. Apparently it’s the favorite season of the young American woman now designated as “basic,” or more coarsely, the “basic b—h.” According to lore and legend, the “basic” young...
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Beautiful Friday: Along For the Ride–Okee Dokee Brothers
This Friday on Beautiful Friday it’s the lovely song “Along For the Ride,” by a contemporary group (yes, they’re still alive–even younger than me)–the Okee Dokee Brothers. My family has become...
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Getting Hitched: Reviews
THE BOOK IS OUT–in paperback and Kindle. Buy your copy today by clicking on the image below. Below are some representative reviews. From an email: I want you to know that [my sister] saw the book...
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The Silliness of the “Warrior Princess”
So in action film after action film, one sees today, almost everywhere, the “warrior princess.” The warrior princess generally has four characteristics. She wears tight clothing to reveals a figure...
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“A ready smile and an easy laughter”: why men are such gluttons for the smile
I remember, at around the age of 20, hearing a woman described in these terms: “a ready smile, and an easy laughter.” And I remember thinking–that’s it! It turns out I’m not alone. Men, for the most...
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Dude, you need to read some Jane Austen (but with one note of caution)
Dear young or not-so-young man, So I hear that you have this seemingly incurable interest in the opposite sex. It’s a very common problem. I hear that your problem is particularly acute–that you...
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The best (or least bad) age for marriage: early 20s
So should age matter to marriage? Well, if marriage is the free association of male and female, for copulation, conversation, cohabitation–primarily for the education of offspring–then age actually is...
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Some unsolicited advice for Tim Tebow
Dear Tim (or similarly-situated young man): So I heard that your girlfriend broke up with you because her thoughts and plans were not consistent with your thoughts and plans. She thought non-marital...
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New Year’s Resolutions for the Marriage-Minded
Happy New Year! So for marriage-minded readers, here are eight resolutions–matters of both thought and action–that you should consider making as the new year begins (and for many of us it only really...
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